I'm so glad to be graduating high school. One of the things I won't miss is having my life all planned out for me—having to attend every class, having my teacher check my homework every day, and having to be a certain place at a certain time. But I have to admit, even though I don't like all that structure, it really does help me get things done—it forces me to stay focused. So I'm a little nervous about starting college. I know I'll have more freedom there, but I'm afraid I won't be focused and I'll flunk out. How can I make sure I can enjoy my freedom, but still do well?

I'm glad you're thinking this way—it really shows you're growing as a mature person. You're describing a "balance" between freedom and responsibility that some students don't take time to think about. Good for you.

You're right in recognizing that college will require more of you in terms of structuring your own life. But it's not like all the structure in your life will vanish the moment you walk on campus. Your professors and job supervisors will have due dates that will provide more structure than you realize. You and your roommate may agree on expectations—like a certain level of cleanliness in your room or a couple of hours you hang out with each other each week—that may also give structure to your time.

What you need to do is build on those structures by creating a well-planned schedule. By scheduling in time for study, work, fun and sleep, you'll be able to enjoy that new freedom you'll have. If you don't have a daily calendar or PDA, get one and use it faithfully.

A few more things that might help: Find a place to study where you can concentrate and be productive; eliminate distractions during your study time; write down all your assignments and when they are due, and check the list often so you don't miss a deadline; and study with a friend who also wants to stay focused, so you can keep each other accountable. Be sure to allow for time to relax, to be with friends, and to be involved in some co-curricular activities.

You may not achieve perfect balance in your life. After all, that's a lifelong goal and process for most of us. Still, these tips will help you find a way to "do" college well. By balancing your freedom with responsibility, you'll have a great time and feel a sense of accomplishment along the way!

I've heard a lot about how important it is to stay safe on campus. I don't think I have much to worry about, but I still think I should know some basic safety tips. But other than making sure I lock my room and car doors and not walking alone at night, what else should I know?

You've started a great list. Here are some additional things to consider: Even when it seems more convenient, don't prop open doors in residence halls or campus buildings. When you go out or leave campus, leave a note for your roommate and let him or her know when you plan to be back. If you have to be out at night, stay in well-lit areas. If your campus has an evening escort service, use it whenever you need to be in remote places after dark.

Get to know the people you meet on and off campus before you trust them in situations like driving or going to parties. That will help you avoid harm and keep you from being in situations that might compromise your values. If you have a cell phone, it's a good idea to keep it charged and with you, just in case. Also, your campus security office will most likely have a list of safety guidelines that apply to your specific campus. By following these guidelines, you'll help keep yourself safe.

Even though it might seem a little scary, don't be afraid. Just remember that the suggestions I've made are all small choices you can make. Those choices will have the greatest impact on your safety during college.

Safety is a significant concern for college students. Learning to be wise and careful can be an important part of a college education.

I know it's normal to be nervous about rooming with someone for the first time, but I feel like my situation is different. I met my roommate at orientation over the summer, and it was really uncomfortable. It seemed like we didn't have anything in common. I don't understand how we could have been paired together. I don't really know what I should do. How can I make the best of this situation?

It's true that sometimes roommates don't click right away. But in this case, I encourage you not to settle for your first impression. Orientation is emotional and can be pretty artificial, compared to day-to-day life in the dorm. So dig a little deeper, and give your new roommate a chance. You could end up complementing each other's personality and abilities and enrich each other's lives.

The great roommate myth is that you have to become best friends and live together all four years. But some roommates click and become close friends, and others don't. Either way is fine! Whether or not you end up friends, you can live together with respect and goodwill. You can be considerate and polite without having to spend every waking hour together. God's Word challenges us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27, NIV). Ask God for the strength, love, and energy to practice this verse in your relationship with your roommate this year.

The great thing about college is that there are tons of people to connect with—other residents in your dorm, lab partners, class project group members, members of the band or choir, or teammates. Take time to connect with your roommate, however you can, and be open to friendships wherever you find them.

In the past, I've struggled with an eating disorder. I'm at a good place in my recovery, but I'm nervous about going away to college. I realize a lot of people turn to unhealthy behaviors during times of transition. Are there some steps I can take to make sure I don't fall back into the patterns I've struggled to get past?

I'm glad to hear that you are recovering from this eating disorder. Your concern shows that you're really committed to staying in that "good place" you mentioned. I applaud your desire to take intentional steps to continuing good health.

It would be very wise to find out ahead of time what help might be available on your campus. For example, there may be a counseling center or health service staffed with professionals who could help you continue your recovery. You can also ask your current doctor or therapist to connect you with a professional in the town where you will attend college.

You raise an important question for many students as they make the transition to college. There are often new stresses and challenges that can be either motivating or discouraging. On the other hand, college can provide you with a clean slate to make changes you know you should make. It gives you a fresh start in a supportive environment. If you are willing to change patterns in your life that have defeated you in the past, college provides you with that opportunity.

Sometimes students feel like they have to hide difficult parts of their lives. Others have trouble admitting that they might be stuck in self-destructive or negative behavior patterns. But don't be afraid. On every campus, there are trustworthy people you can be honest with. I hope you will find them.

God promises us the possibility of a fresh start with him as well. When you begin your college career, you have the opportunity to make changes in many areas of your life. But any day of our lives we can "start over" with God. He offers us forgiveness and grace and love. Romans 5:1 reminds us that these gifts are available to us: "We have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same time that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise" (The Message).

I know I have a couple of years before I really need to finalize this decision, but I'm wondering: how should I choose a major? I chose my school because it has a wide variety of majors. But what's the smartest way to figure out what I'd like to study before I need to declare a major?

What have you loved studying or doing in the past? That may be the biggest clue to what you should study or do in your future. What courses or other experiences like music, gymnastics, or volunteering at the local hospital have been satisfying for you—given you joy? Those feelings may translate into a major and ultimately a career goal. For instance, music may lead you to major in performance; gymnastics may lead you to be a physical education and health teacher who coaches gymnastics on the side; and the time at the hospital could suggest a medical profession.

Ask people you trust to tell you what they think you are good at. What can they picture you doing—or not doing? Talk with your parents and merge their hopes and dreams for you with the interests and aspirations you have identified for yourself. Take some of the many career assessments that are available through your career services office on campus. "Shadow" someone you respect at their workplace. What parts of their job would you enjoy? Are there things about their job that don't seem to be a good fit for you? Schedule some informational interviews with professors or with professionals who are in careers you're interested in. Knowing more about what they do will help you know more about what you might like to do. Taking a class on careers and decision-making could give you a jump-start on choosing your major.

Be sure to pray as you consider your options. Ask God to direct your path toward a career that fits your gifts and his plan for your life. For some people, a sense of "calling" to a particular vocation is very meaningful. Others find their sense of calling in areas of service and ministry outside of their work.

Whatever you decide to major in, there are still limitless possibilities for what you do with that major. Many people change careers several times over their lifetimes as God reveals a new direction or opportunity to them. This whole process of finding a major and a career is really an adventure! As you prayerfully process the information you gather, I hope you will find something worthwhile, something for which you have a passion, something that gives pleasure to you and God.

Lately I've been thinking about trying to graduate in three years instead of four. I've always been a good student and a careful scheduler. Plus, I know spending less time on campus could really save me some money and give me a jump-start on my career. What should I think about as I try to make this decision? Do you think I'll miss out if I try to graduate in three years?

The decision you're trying to make doesn't necessarily have a right or wrong answer. I think you may miss out on some of the value of higher education if you graduate early, but you may gain more than you lose. It's a very individual decision.

There may be some realities in your life that make a three-year degree the better option for you. For example, it may make sense financially to try to graduate sooner. The heavy workload, however, may not be for everyone. I suggest you sign up for extra credits early in your college career and see how easily you can complete the extra work. If that works well, you may be able to take maximum credit hours for the remainder of your semesters. Your ability to prioritize your tasks and use your time well will be key to your success as an early grad.

A reality is that some majors or programs are designed to be completed in four years and you cannot possibly shrink them into fewer semesters. Nursing, engineering and education would be examples of such programs. As you make your decision, take time to factor in what you would be losing. There are rich experiences in internships, co-curricular activities, leadership positions on campus and other opportunities that may be worth the extra semester(s). These can greatly increase your satisfaction with your college experience, enrich your learning, and prepare you more fully for the world beyond college. Even if you decide to complete your requirements in three years, I encourage you to participate in some activities beyond the classroom.

If, after considering all of the above, you are able to reduce your years in college by a half or a whole, I hope that you will be able to look back on the years you were enrolled and have much for which you are thankful.

When my older brother went to college, my mom really missed him. She cried on and off for weeks. Now that it's my turn to leave home, I've started to feel really guilty and kind of responsible for her feelings. I know I'll miss being at home, but I feel even worse every time she reminds me that we're doing something for "the last time" or she tells a friend that "her baby's going away." It's made me feel really tense and restless. And I don't know how to make her feel better. What should I do?

Repeat after me: "It's not my fault." Transitions are tough for everyone, not just moms. The feelings you are experiencing may not be her fault, either. This is just a stage you are both going through! Try to talk honestly about your feelings. It may help your mom to hear that you are going to miss being at home. Talk about how best to stay in touch while you are away. E-mail? Cell phone? Visits? How often is she expecting you to come home? Establishing agreed-upon expectations can help reduce some of the tension and sadness.

You may need to be more patient with your mother right now as she adjusts to "her baby going away." But you might find times for some good-natured joking around and laughter. For instance, "Look out, Mom, here comes another one of those 'last times' you always point out. Watch out! We both may cry." That may be a good way to diffuse the tension of those times.

After you leave for school, be sure to stay in touch in reasonable and realistic ways. Keep your mom in the loop about how things are going for you. Be firm but loving as you establish new boundaries for your relationship. For example: "I won't be able to come home this weekend, but there are only two weeks until Thanksgiving, Mom. I can't wait to see you then."

The good thing is that she loves you, and that there are mature ways to handle times of separation that can actually strengthen your relationship and bring joy to both of you. I wish you well.

Judy Moseman is vice president for student life at Bethel College, Minnesota.

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