One of the most challenging and encouraging aspects of my college life was definitely belonging to an accountability group. When I felt the pressure mounting after the first week of my first semester, older friends kept telling me what a difference this type of group could make. I decided to join one, and after the first meeting, I knew I'd made the right decision. Through my accountability group, I found friends who agreed to meet regularly to encourage each other. Each of us set goals, and together we tried to help one another meet them.

When you get settled on your college campus, an accountability group may be something you'll want to look for. Here are eight tips for finding a group to grow with.

1. Decide the group size.I started out in a larger accountability group. But after a while my friend Sophie and I decided to start a smaller group on our own. Deciding who else to ask, however, took time and prayer. We couldn't seem to find anyone we both knew well. One day as Sophie and I were talking outside chapel, a close and supportive friend of mine walked by and said, "Hi Sara. Hi, Sophie." Sophie and I looked at each other and somehow sensed we'd found our third member. It turned out that Allison had been praying for a group, too.
   
2. Find committed people. Be choosy when you're looking for people to be in your group. Find people who are committed to the idea. For example, look for those who would be willing to attend a regularly scheduled meeting as often as possible. Regular attendance says to the other members of the group, "I care enough about this group to make our meeting a priority."
   
3. Keep it confidential. You will also want to look for people who can keep confidences. For an accountability group to work, it's important that nothing discussed at the meetings should be discussed outside the group. Confidentiality allows trust to develop between members so everyone can be totally open and honest. This type of trust develops slowly, but it is important if the group is to work.
   
4. Seek similarities. Find people who share some common experiences with you. For example, having all females in our group made openness and honesty easier. Another reason my group was helpful to me is we all love being involved in extracurricular activities, but we also want to do our best academically. Having people in my group who understand how hard studying can be, but are dedicated to doing their best, challenges me to do my best.
   
5. Avoid your roommate. Find group members who will be close by when you need them. But a note of warning: Don't ask your roommate! My roommates were some of my closest friends, but we decided right away not to risk ruining our friendship by forming an accountability group. Being in an accountability group with your roommate may cause you to start nagging and criticizing each other in the close proximity of sharing a room. Besides, the accountability group is one place to go to for advice on getting along with your roommate.
   
6. Make a plan. Once you have a group, decide on a meeting time and place that is convenient for everyone. Make sure there is privacy. You may need to stick a "Do not disturb!" sign on the door or unplug the phone. Set the length of time your group will meet each week. I'd recommend at least an hour. Of course, spending time together socially will also help the group bond. So plan some fun stuff to do outside of the normal group times.
   
7. Set goals. When you first come together as a group, set your goals and commitments. These can be individual goals or goals the group wants to work on together. For instance, you may make a pact to do daily devotions. Or you might decide to hold each other accountable for studying a specific amount of time each day, saving money or eating healthily. The goals could range from church attendance to getting enough sleep to sexual purity. Your weekly meetings are times to check in and see how you are doing. During my freshman year, I began to see I needed to spend more time studying. I made that commitment with my accountability group. Sophie was a major encouragement as she struggled through the semester with me. While many students make their lowest grades their first semester in college, my grades actually went up from high school. I'm thoroughly convinced my improved study habits were the result of my accountability group.
   
8. Lean on each other. After you make your commitments and set your goals, don't be afraid to ask your group for advice and support to help you stay on track. But be prepared to accept their help. Try their suggestions, and be thankful for their support and interest in your life. Make it a weekly goal to have a good report for the next week.
   

Here are some ways you can show support for others in your group:

1. Listen to them with respect. Use eye contact to show they have your attention. Let them finish talking before you offer advice. And use questions to help draw them out and to clarify anything that seems unclear.
   
2. Ask them about how things are going. Don't wait for them to tell you.
   
3. During the week, send them encouraging notes with Bible verses. Allison was particularly good at sending encouraging notes. Her notes always seemed to come when I needed them most. Posting them on my bedroom wall also offered me continual encouragement. Another great place to put these notes is on your mirror. Just be sure and hang them in a prominent place.
   
4. When others in your group are having weak moments, remind them of why they set the particular goal or goals they've set. Then offer to pray with them.
   
5. Make it easier for group members to keep their commitments. For example, if group members know they need to be studying, don't try to talk them into going to see a movie. Remember, you're there to support and not to distract.
   
6. Stick to your commitments. This lets others in your group know you are taking the accountability group seriously. Your example can inspire them to do the same.
   
7. Pray for them. Although your support may not always be enough for your friend, God's help is always enough.
   

In all of your support, remember to keep the well-being of your group members in mind. When your group grows close enough, issues may arise which the group cannot handle. For instance, an anorexic friend may want to commit to lose 15 pounds. In this case, don't try to hold her accountable; advise her to get help. Or someone in your group might experience date rape. Don't try to be her counselor. Get help for her. Keep in mind that you are not a trained professional. Be supportive by going with your friend to a counselor or pastor who knows what to do.

A good Scripture passage for your group is 1 Thessalonians 5:11-22. The text begins, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…" Make this your mission statement. Read the passage together often. Ask God for the strength to follow this advice. And remember: God himself is a member of your accountability group. He's promised, "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20).

2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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