First week at college. You've met about a million people and remember exactly three of their names. Somewhere on campus there's a guy who graduated from your high school two years ago, but you never even talked to him back home. It's like you're swimming in a sea of smiles—everyone's friendly, but they're not your friends.

So how are these grinning strangers going to become the people you still send Christmas cards to when you're 60? How are you going to find a sense of belonging at this place where you'll spend the next four years? How will you make your memories—and make a difference—in your new community? Answer: You need to stake out your corner of the campus. You need to get involved.

But where do you start? Which group should you join? That depends on you.

Lisa Monroe, now a senior, started off her freshman year at Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina, with a strong desire to be part of the life of the college. "In high school, I was really involved in a lot of things," she says, "so when I got to college, I wanted to continue that. I got involved to meet more friends, to get into different types of ministries, to develop my leadership skills, and because I like working with people."

For her first year at school, Lisa focused on getting involved in a social club that Bob Jones students call a "society." "We have probably 50 girls' societies and 50 guys' societies within the school," she says. "That's where we're involved with intramural competitions and different activities."

And as Lisa's college career has continued, she's only gotten more involved. This year Lisa has been serving as women's student body president. Now she's in charge of organizing those social activities she's always enjoyed. According to Lisa, it's a rewarding job, one where she can have fun and serve others at the same time.

Nathan Lambert began his first year at Geneva College in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, at ground zero. "I knew two other people in a student body of about 1,300," he says. "One happened to be my girlfriend at the time, and the other one was the person I stayed with when I visited campus."

Nathan, now a senior, got plugged in at Geneva by joining the music department. "For me, being part of the music department has been a great way to get to know people," he says. "We have a whole building to ourselves, and a lounge and a computer lab. We sit around the lounge, practice together and study together."

Within the music department, Nathan is especially close to his fellow guitar performance majors. "There weren't any guitar ensembles when I first came," he says, "so I helped to found one with one of my instructors. Guitar ensemble lends itself to greater friendships within the guitar major."

Over the years, Nathan has also been involved in concert band (playing baritone horn and trombone), marching band (as manager), and jazz ensemble, as well as providing background music for dinners and high teas on campus. "You meet a lot of people that way," he says. And that includes non-music majors, too. He says that one string ensemble on campus even features a physics prof who plays the cello.

Nathan has made so many close friends in the music department that he's already planning post-graduation trips back to Geneva. "I'll be coming back here in the fall of '99 for the senior recitals of some of my peers," he says. "I'm even playing in one of them."

Christy Cannon didn't hold any kind of leadership position her freshman year at George Fox University in Newberg, Oregon, but she served as a Resident Assistant her sophomore and junior years. This year, as a senior, she's vice president of Student Government.

"When you become a leader, you get to know people really well," Christy says. "The interaction is different than just friendship, but eventually it does turn into friendship. And not only do you develop friendships with students, but you also develop them with the administration. It's a really neat experience."

Part of the reason Christy got involved in campus leadership was for her own personal and spiritual growth. But this bio/pre-med major is also looking ahead to her career. "I think part of being a doctor is relationships with patients. I think that, as a leader, you learn how to be tactful in what you say and how to communicate in an effective manner, because if you don't communicate in an effective manner, you're not getting done what you need to accomplish. It also really teaches you how to prioritize things and use your time wisely, which is something I will definitely need in medical school."

Adam Paarlberg was interested in sports before he even got to Hope College in Holland, Michigan. "Football was one of the reasons I came," says Adam, who's now a senior and captain of the team. "It's undoubtedly given me connections I wouldn't have had otherwise."

Besides games, practices and off-season training, Adam has found other ways to strengthen his relationships with his teammates. He lives in an apartment with three of the guys this year, and for the past two years he's been part of a Bible study group within the team. "I've gotten to know the guys on a different level," he says. "It's nice to have that spiritual aspect."

Even though he's really enjoyed the camaraderie of the football team, Adam has made sure to explore other interests and make other friendships, too. The most important of these is a Bible study group, led by the campus chaplain, that Adam's been a part of since his freshman year. He calls it "a daily reminder of what I should make my ultimate goals in life, which has really helped me. It's taught me to make my faith a part of every-day life."

What if you don't make a strong campus connection right away? Will you be the only person still eating alone by midterms?

Brian Rhode transferred to Eastern College in St. Davids, Pennsylvania, as a sophomore, so he missed out on the whole freshman friendship fest. And it took him a while to catch up.

"The entire first semester, I remember things were kind of tough," he says. "By mid-semester I'd decided that if I came back to school at all, I'd come back to Eastern. But I wasn't sure if I would come back at all."

Part of Brian's problem was geographic. "I lived in an out-of-the-way dorm—it wasn't a social center," he recalls. But another part of the problem was his reluctance to crawl out of his shell. "I didn't meet a lot of people. I was pretty introverted. But second semester, I got plugged in more."

Brian started to find friends by just hanging out with people and taking the initiative to get to know them. "I decided not to just sit around and mope," he says. He also eventually found his way onto two worship teams, one on campus and one at a local church.

Now a junior, Brian has expanded his involvements to include serving as a Resident Assistant at his dorm and president of Eastern's chapter of Evangelicals for Social Action. He says his commitments have taught him a lot about handling stress, but they've also helped him build his character—especially being an RA.

"I consider [being on residence staff] a great lesson in leadership and maintaining integrity," he says. "I'm always under the public spotlight. That's a challenge, but it's one of the reasons I took the position. It's also a lesson in problem-solving and relationship-building."

As an RA, Brian gets to help underclassmen on his floor find their way into the college community. And he does his best to make sure they have an easier time of it than he did. He tells them: "This is your home now. This is your extended family."

When it comes to making your college years memorable, nothing can take the place of getting involved. "Your involvements hold a big place in your life," Nathan says. Christy adds, "I think the benefit of being involved is that you leave your mark, and you make lasting relationships that you will have for a lifetime."

Of course, you can't do everything at once (see "Warning" on page 70). But whatever you can fit into your day-planner will be well worth the effort. As Lisa says, "There are so many opportunities in college. Look over each one carefully. You can do anything that you've wanted to do. And take advantage of those things, because you can never relive your college years again."

Tips to help you maximize your first year on campus:

1) Start small. You'll be bombarded with new faces when you get to campus. But instead of trying to meet everyone, concentrate your social energy on getting to know your roommate and a few other people on your floor. You can gradually build from there.

2) Be bold. Every freshman is as nervous about fitting in and making friends as you are. Someone's got to take the lead in initiating friendships, so it might as well be you.

3) Take part. To get the most out of your classes, you've got to stay tuned in. The best way to do that is to participate. Take part in class discussions, and you'll find you actually remember what you talked about.

4) Branch out. Stay in touch with the "outside" world by offering to babysit for a prof, volunteering in the community or getting involved in a local church.

5) Stay balanced. Say no to things when your schedule is just too crammed. Take time for yourself when you're feeling stressed out. And most of all, make time for God every day.

6) Sleep in. OK, not every day. But do make sure you're getting enough sleep to function. Sleep deprivation can make you clumsy, cranky and sick, so snooze when you have the chance (just a hint—bio class is not your "chance").

7) Risk it. Try something new. If there's a sport you'd like to try, join an intramural team. If you've always wanted to take great pictures, take a photography class. Try out for a play, write a poem, learn to swim.

8) Keep up. College homework piles up mighty fast. So stay caught up and avoid a bundle of stress later on. Hey, you could even plan ahead and start working on big assignments whole days before they're due.

9) Write home. Keep your family and friends back home up-to-date on your life at college. E-mail your high school buddies when you're thinking of them, drop a postcard to your younger sibs, call the folks just to say hi. You'll all appreciate staying connected as you get adjusted to college life.

10) Know God. You're going to go through a lot of changes at college. Stay close to God through Christian fellowship, prayer and devotions. He'll give you the strength to get through all the challenges college life will throw your way.

Oh, and don't forget about that part-time job to help make ends meet.

And church on Sunday.

And 16 hours of classes.

Plus study time. Yikes!

Could this be you in a few months? You bet. At college, you'll be surrounded by fantastic opportunities for involvement. But before you sign on any dotted lines, think about the costs of being overcommitted:

Loss of Sleep
Sleep is a necessity, not an option. If you find yourself looking forward to four hours of sleep each night because of all the activities you do, you're slumber-starved, and you're too busy. Use your common sense when it comes to sleep. You'll avoid physical and emotional exhaustion.

Loss of Focus
When you spread yourself too thin—and it's easy to do in college—you'll find it impossible to do anything well. Even the things that are most important to you, like your walk with God, will suffer if you try to take on the world.

Loss of Joy
College should be a time of incredible growth and enthusiasm for life. And it can be, if you don't overcommit yourself. If you love baseball, drama, choir and youth ministry, consider participating in only one or two of them at a time. Then you'll be able to enjoy the activities, not just check them off your to-do list.

Bottom line:
It's great to be involved. Just remember that too much of a good thing is still, well, too much.

Copyright © 1999 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

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