Q: My parents and youth pastor are all Christian college graduates, and they really want me to look at some Christian colleges. When I ask them why, they tell me how great it was to be in a place where they could grow in their faith. But the thing is, I feel like I already have strong faith. And if I didn't, isn't it true that you can grow in your faith anywhere? So why is a Christian college so important?

A: You're right—Your faith will grow as you make choices that help you draw close to God, and that can happen on any college campus.

So why do people like your parents and youth pastor (and me!) think a Christian college education is important? A Christian college campus offers a lot of support and resources to you as you build your faith. As you seek to grow in God, you'll be surrounded by peers, professors and staff members who are part of the body of Christ and who can be role models and encouragers. In your classes and extracurricular activities, you'll be learning how to view yourself and the world through the lens of a Christ-follower. You'll form friendships with other students who share your faith. These friendships can help you grow in your faith as you walk together through life, encouraging each other and holding each other accountable. Being part of a Christian community on a campus can nurture you and build you up, preparing you for a life of service and ministry after college no matter what profession you are called into.

For those reasons, I encourage you to think about visiting some Christian colleges. But no matter where you go to college, your heart for God and your faithfulness in following him will determine the strength of your faith.

Q: I'm a junior at a small Christian high school, and I like my school. But recently, I've started to feel like I'm at a disadvantage when it comes to college admissions. Students at larger schools get the chance to take AP courses—something my school doesn't offer. Sometimes they even have information about summer programs and other stuff that looks good on a college application. They've also got bigger guidance departments and more scholarship information. I'm wondering: do I really stand a chance against students from large high schools? How can I make sure I present myself well on college applications?

A: To be honest with you, I wouldn't be overly concerned about how to impress college admissions officers. There's something more important: becoming a person of good character. That's the kind of person admissions officers want to have on campus.

Focus on being honest and hardworking. Be responsible and kind to others. Participate in activities that interest you—don't do things just because you think they'll look good on your college applications.

Now, I don't want to imply that a strong application isn't important. It is important to present yourself well. So as you're focusing on becoming a person of good character, it's a good idea to think of things that you might be interested in doing. For example, talk to your youth pastor about service opportunities like missions trips, volunteering at a nursing home or helping teach Vacation Bible School. Is there a career you'd like to explore? Then look into internship opportunities with people who work at jobs that interest you. See if you can spend a day or a week in their office, observing them in action and learning about their particular career. And the benefit of these opportunities: You can add them all to your list of achievements and activities.

When it comes to summer programs and scholarships, get online to find out what opportunities are available. For example, check out websites like scholarships.com, scholarshipcoach.com, or fastweb.com for scholarship information. Make an appointment with a guidance counselor at your local public school to ask about opportunities you might not be aware of. Not only could you get some great information that will help you, but you can be a "resource person" for your classmates.

If you're interested in taking advanced coursework, talk to your guidance counselor. Maybe it would be possible for you to take courses for college credit at a local college or com-munity college. Also ask about taking SAT II, Advanced Placement (AP) or College-Level Examination Program (CLEP) tests, which allow you to earn college credits or demonstrate an academic strength.

Don't waste time thinking about what you're missing. Instead, enjoy the benefits your school offers, and be creative, resourceful and bold in looking for other opportunities that are available to you.

Q: My parents and I have a pretty good relationship, and they've helped a lot with my college search. Recently I learned about a Christian college I'm really, really interested in. Unfortunately, this college isn't one of our denominational schools. Our denomination has always been important to my parents, but it doesn't really matter to me. I like going to youth group at different churches in our area, and I've learned good things from all of them. I want to respect my parents, but I'd also like a little more freedom to make my own choice. How can I talk to them about this?

A: Try to view this discussion with your parents as an opportunity to show respect for them and to demonstrate that you're becoming a responsible adult.

To prepare yourself for a conversation with your mom and dad, start doing some research about this college you're interested in. Pay special attention to areas of college life that are important to your parents or similar to the denominational schools they like. Some examples could include academic quality, lifestyle expectations, theological positions and cost. Be prepared to explain how you will handle any significant differences you may discover. For example, let's say the denominational schools have very strict codes of conduct and the school you're interested in does not. You'll need to think through what to say about the differences and about your own personal commitment to certain behavioral standards. Then ask your parents for a time to talk together about what you are learning. Encourage them to join you on a visit to the school you're interested in. Let them see for themselves why you like the school so much. Also offer to go with them to visit the campus of one of the denominational schools. After both visits, the three of you can sit down and compare the strengths and weaknesses of each school.

You might take these visits and discover that a denominational school is the right place. If this doesn't happen, then explain your continued interest in the school that's outside your denomination. As you lay out your case for the school, do so respectfully and in a way that shows you are carefully considering your parents' opinions. The more you behave as a mature adult, the more confidence they will have in your ability to make good choices based on your faith and your family's values.

Q: I really like a lot of the Christian colleges I've visited, but I keep getting hung up on one thing. It seems like many of these colleges have a lot of rules: about attending chapel, about when you can visit members of the opposite sex in their dorms, even about dancing. To be honest, I was looking forward to making my own decisions about things like this, and it's hard for me to get excited about going someplace with more rules. I'm supposed to be a responsible adult, but these rules don't make me feel like one. What can I do? How can I try to have a good attitude about this?

A: Any school you attend will have rules, but you'll also have plenty of choices. I doubt that you would feel like your college would be running your life. Still, even at those schools with many lifestyle expectations, the rules are well- intentioned and provide an environment where you can make the most of your education. You may find that the rules actually help you. For example, your roommate's girlfriend can't be in your room every night when you want to study there. Or a chapel speaker that you might not have chosen to hear may speak to your heart and touch your life. You might even find that dancing isn't as important to you as being in a college that provides a great education, that prepares you to be a Christian and a biologist, or a Christian and a teacher, or a Christian and an accountant.

Here's my suggestion: As you visit different colleges, talk with some students about your concerns. Ask them how they feel living under the rules. Not every school will be a good fit for you. But if you find a Christian college that has a lot to offer, you may find that the rules become easier to accept. After all, you'll have the privilege of being part of a campus community that is a good fit for you in every other way. You may realize that you are gaining far more than you are giving up.

Q: I'm a senior in high school, and I know that I'm supposed to be preparing for college—filling out applications, making college visits, all of it. But even though I know all of that is important, I just can't seem to get going. I'm feeling more and more anxious as time passes, and I can't get motivated. It's not that I don't want to go to college. I guess I'm just having trouble doing all the things I need to do to get there. How can I get motivated? And since I'm so late getting started, where should I start?

A: If you're like many students I've known, your fear of being rejected may be what's keeping you from applying to colleges. It's true that even the best students don't get accepted to every college they apply to. There are a lot of variables that affect the decisions admissions officers make about applicants. But it's also true that you can't get accepted to colleges if you don't apply.

If my guess is right and you're struggling with fear, I suggest talking to parents, your youth pastor or your guidance counselor about your fears. Pray with them and think of some strategies to help you cope with this stress. If you're involved in too many activities, it may be time to back away from some of them. This will allow you to make the college search a top priority.

Ask your parents, your youth pastor and guidance counselor for suggestions to help you discover three or four schools that might be a good fit. That will allow you to consider each one without becoming too overwhelmed. Research the websites, call the admissions offices to find out about important deadlines, and schedule campus visits. Hopefully, something about at least one of the schools may grab your attention and get you motivated to learn more or to fill out and send in the application. The key is to get started.

When you get to the process of applying for scholarships, think about how much money you could save by setting aside three or four hours each week to fill out applications. Even a small scholarship award might be worth a lot. For example, if you spend three hours filling out an application and win $500 as a result, that means you earned almost $170 an hour! When it comes to planning for your future, I hope you'll discover that working hard is really worth it. Don't be afraid of failing—just get started.

Q: I'm having a disagreement with my parents. My older brother was really focused on the Christian college he chose. After he went on his first and only campus visit, he knew that was where he wanted to go. He applied early, got in and that was that. I'm a little different—I'm not totally sure what I want in a school just yet, and I want to visit and apply to several schools. Plus, I'm not quite as strong a student as my brother is, so I probably need to apply to more than one school. But my parents don't seem to understand that I'm not my brother. They aren't that excited about helping me arrange campus visits or helping me pay application fees. I feel like they wish I'd just go to the school my brother chose. How can I help them understand that my way of searching is actually pretty normal? How can I get them to be involved with my search?

A: Helping your parents understand your concerns will require some energy and effort, but I believe you can do it. Hearing you talk about visiting and applying to several schools may have made your parents feel nervous or overwhelmed. In addition to the fact that they didn't need to do that with your brother, they may also be thinking of the time and money the applications and visits will involve. Talking to them about the reasons they seem so reluctant to get involved with your search may help you to see things from their point of view.

You say you'd like to visit several schools. "Several" may seem like too many to your parents. Cut down your list to a few top favorites by doing some research online and by poring over admissions brochures and catalogues. Get enough information to figure out which schools you're just interested in, and which ones you'd really like to learn more about. Focus on these few, and do some research about possible visit dates, application fees, and the cost of visiting each school. Then, ask your parents to sit down with you so you can discuss these schools with them. Hopefully, they'll be impressed when you share your careful research and decision-making process. They may also be relieved at the time and money you are saving them by considerably narrowing your choices.

Encourage them to visit the remaining schools with you. That gives you an opportunity to highlight what you like about each of these schools. Share stories about how your friends are going through similar processes so your parents can see you're not asking for anything out of the ordinary. Offer to pay for one of the visits or for some of the application fees. That would show your commitment to this process, too. Also, if your parents ask you to, be willing to take a closer look at your brother's college as well. That way, you can offer them the respect and consideration you're hoping for in return.

Most of all, invite your parents to pray with you for God's direction as you make this important decision. I hope you will find the right school.

Q: I've been dating my boyfriend for two years. I'm a senior in high school, and he's a freshman at a local college. I want to go away to a different school next year, but he's trying to talk me out of it because he says we'll miss each other too much. I kind of want to go to school with him, but I really, really want to go to this other school. What should I do?

A: Go to the other school! That's easy for me to say, since I'm not actually in your situation right now, but I believe it's good advice. A strong relationship will withstand the test of time apart, and may even grow stronger. Of course, it's possible that the relationship won't pass the test, but it's also possible that you might break up even if you were enrolled in the same school.

Stay in touch with your boyfriend by telephone, e-mail and instant messaging. On vacations, visit him at home. Just don't go home to be with him every weekend. You'll want to allow plenty of time to make new friends and enjoy student life at your chosen college. You'll have a much better college experience that way, and you'll grow a lot more as a person.

If your relationship with this boyfriend continues and matures, I hope he learns to encourage you to grow as a person. You'll both need freedom and space to develop your own identities. Going to different colleges will help you discover if you truly belong together.

Q: Some of the colleges I'm looking at require an admissions interview, and others just suggest it. So, I'm trying to figure out: What's so important about the admissions interview? Is it really a big deal? If it's not required, should I still do it anyway? What should I wear? What's the best way to prepare for an interview, and what kinds of questions will they ask me? I'm kind of nervous about this and I don't want to mess it up.

A: An admissions interview gives colleges yet another way to get to know you and make a good decision about whether or not you should attend there. If an interview is required, be of good courage (Joshua 1:9) and go for it. You may want to do that even at the schools where an interview is only suggested. It gives you an opportunity to present yourself to them and to show them what a good addition you would be to their campus.

As far as what to wear, on most campuses you'll be safe with a "business casual" look, like khakis and a nice shirt and tie for guys, or a skirt or nice pants, blouse or nice shirt and casual dress shoes for girls. If you have questions, feel free to call your admissions counselor to ask what's appropriate.

Prepare for the interview by reminding yourself of conversational skills like eye contact, active listening, giving clear responses and avoiding conversational tics such as overusing the word "like." You might want to practice with your parents or one of your teachers ahead of time. Possible questions will vary, but be ready to talk about why you are interested in that school, your areas of strength and weakness, examples of your accomplishments, challenges you have met, service projects you've done, and honors you've received. It's understandable that you might be nervous. But just be yourself, not someone you think they want you to be. Have some questions of your own in mind. Remember, the interview is a time for you to learn more about the school, as well.

Q: I've wanted to go to a Christian college for a real long time because I thought it would help me grow in my faith. But a friend started at a Christian college last year and now she's really struggling with her beliefs. She was a strong Christian before she went to college. I'm beginning to wonder if I should even go to college at all. I sure don't want to lose my faith.

A: Struggling with our beliefs happens to many of us at one time or another, and it doesn't necessarily lead to losing faith. The college is probably not the cause of your friend's struggles. People can stumble anywhere. You may be concerned about choices your friend is making while she struggles—choices which move her away from God rather than keep her in conversation with him.

God isn't threatened by our hard questions. And when it comes to wrestling with those questions, I can't think of a better place to be than at a Christian college. There, you're surrounded by professors and staff who can hear your questions and help you deal with issues from a biblical base. College is a good time to ask questions, seek answers and come to a faith that is reasoned and sure of itself.

In college you will become a different person, probably wiser and more mature, with stronger, deeper beliefs. As you struggle with your beliefs in a Christian environment, you can expect to eventually reach new levels of understanding and joy as you grow in your knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. I pray that you'll not only "keep the faith" but grow greatly wherever the future leads!

Judy Moseman is vice president for student life at Bethel College, Minnesota.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Campus Life.

Subscribe to Ignite Your Faith!

• Risk-free trial issue
• Give a Gift Subscription