This shouldn't be so difficult," I complained to my mom. "I don't know why it's so hard to make this decision!" It was the fall of my senior year, and I still didn't know which college I wanted to attend. I'd visited three different colleges that were only a few hours from my home. During my visits, I was certain one of the schools would just "feel" like the right place for me. It didn't happen. Even worse, I let my worries drive me crazy. I felt like this one decision was setting the path for my whole life! The pressure was just too much. Each time my parents even mentioned college I would burst into tears. Now, halfway through my senior year, I was still working through the pros and cons of the three schools I'd visited. I needed to make a decision soon, and I was starting to feel really scared. My mom had encouraged me to keep praying. So I continued to pray that God would make the right choice clear to me. I wanted so badly to do what was in his will for me. In spite of all my uncertainty and anxiety, I often found comfort and encouragement in Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (NIV). As decision time inched closer and closer, I decided to revisit my top three schools. As we prepared to make one last college tour, my dad asked me to consider these schools from a new perspective. "Amanda, this time I challenge you to try to see each place through the eyes of someone who might live there," he said. That change of perspective helped me get a better sense of where I would fit in—where I would feel most at home during my college experience. When I revisited Greenville College, I felt like the community was a place I could thrive. I felt like I could relate to the students I met. I felt good about learning from the professors. After all those prayers, a lot of anxiety, and this second visit, I finally felt confident making my final decision. I believed that God was allowing me to feel peaceful about this place. I had second thoughts when I went to freshman orientation the summer after graduation. I had some awkward moments and felt unsteady because I didn't know anyone yet. But I just kept reminding myself that I believed God had led me to Greenville. I decided to focus on that instead of my feelings of discomfort and fear, and eventually I got past my shakiness. Now I'm in my second year here, and I feel satisfied in my choice. I feel God's peace and I know he answered my prayers for guidance in this big decision. As I look back to those anxious days of senior year, I think part of the reason I was so afraid was that I wasn't really focused on seeing his plan for the future. But he guided me. I learned that I don't have to know the whole future to trust God. When I seek his will and trust that he'll listen to my prayers, I can rest knowing that God will give me the wisdom and courage to make wise choices. Amanda is a sophomore English and Religion major at Greenville College in Illinois. Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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