Q My parents and I have really different ideas about what's important in a school. I'm looking for a place with a lot of good ministry opportunities, but they want me to really zero in on a major and use that criterion to choose a school. We're starting to argue a lot! How can we get through this without hating each other?

A This is a great opportunity for you to take a mature role and have a positive influence in your family. Take responsibility by researching three or four colleges that offer majors you might be interested in. Check to be sure that those campuses also offer ministry opportunities that appeal to you.

When you've done your research, sit down with your parents and share what you've discovered. Point out those schools you're attracted to and why they would be good schools for you. When you talk to your parents about these schools, tell them that more than 25 percent of college students are undecided about their major when they start college and more than half of college students change their major at least once. Even if you decided on a major today, you might end up switching to one that would not be available at your institution. Looking for colleges that offer a range of majors and ministry options should allow you and your parents to settle on a campus where you can pursue what's important to each of you.

Q I'm a fairly smart person, but I pretty much blew off my first three years of high school. My job and hanging out with friends were a lot more important to me than studying. When I took the SAT, my score was way above average. I'm afraid my low GPA and high test score looks really bad to admissions counselors—like I'm smart, but kind of lazy. I guess that was true in the past, but now I want to go to college! Have I ruined my chance at getting into a good school? What can I do to show admissions people that I'm different now?

A It's good you're taking responsibility for your actions and acknowledging that you neglected your studies for other things. Now that you know you want to go to college, there's still hope. Starting now, make the most of the time you have left in high school. Work hard to improve your grades so your transcript will show at least one semester that demonstrates what kind of grades you can make when you do your best.

If you've been focused on your job or other extracurricular activities instead of your schoolwork, ask adults who know you well (such as your supervisors, mentors, advisers, coaches) to write recommendations for you. They should be able to speak about your dedication and your ability to be disciplined and to apply yourself to a task. Get references from people who can speak to your character and leadership ability.

It's also a good idea to address this problem in one of your admissions essays. Write about your journey to become a dedicated student. Explain that you weren't always as focused on academics as you are now. In your admissions interviews, do your best to make a good impression. Be ready to tell your interviewer how you realized you needed to change, and what you're doing to improve your grades.

To be honest, you might not yet be able to convince the admissions people that you are different now and should be accepted into their school. In that case, consider spending a semester or two at a local community college, where you can give your best effort to the courses you take. Earn credits you can transfer to the colleges you'd like to go to. With that, and your improved high school record, you may be a strong candidate as a transfer student. I hope things will work out for you!

Q I have a learning disability. Up until now, I've always been able to get the help I needed in school—I take special classes, and sometimes my teachers allow me to have extra time to complete tests in class. I've also worked a lot with tutors. Now I'm interested in Christian colleges, but there are a couple of things that make me nervous. A lot of them have really high academic standards, and most of them are a lot smaller than even my high school! Will I really be able to make it at a Christian college? Since many of them are small, can I get the kind of help I need?

A Many students with learning disabilities are successful at Christian colleges. With some advance planning on your part, I believe you can be successful, too. Call the colleges you're interested in and find out if they have a disability services professional. That person can help you know what you'll have to do to receive the services you need.

A campus visit is also a great time to learn about what a school has to offer you. Be sure to schedule an appointment with the college's disability services professional. Ask about the availability of student tutors.

Most Christian colleges will want to do as much as they possibly can to give you every opportunity to succeed. Make sure you look carefully and ask questions that will help you make a good decision.

Q I was really excited about looking at Christian colleges, until I realized that many of them have a really low population of ethnic minorities. I'm African American, and I'm just not very excited about being in a place where many students are likely to be unfamiliar with my culture. Recently, a predominantly African American college approached me with a full scholarship offer because of my high test scores. Now I'm wondering: Why should I keep looking at Christian colleges when a historically black college has offered me a full ride? My parents both went to historically black schools, and we really need help thinking this through.

A You have a difficult decision to make. In the historically black college you have the financial and cultural advantage, while the Christian colleges offer you the opportunity to study and learn in the context of your faith.

Why should you look at Christian schools? A Christ-centered curriculum and campus can make a significant difference in your spiritual formation, and help you as you prepare to serve God in your future career. From my experience, a Christian college is the best place to ask and find answers for life's most significant questions, and to deepen your understanding of God, the world he's created, and your role in it.

Visiting some of the campuses you like will help you experience and appreciate their mission. Scan the catalog for information about programs or courses that foster racial reconciliation. There are usually resource people on the campus to support and encourage the students of color who enroll. Be sure to meet them when you visit.

It's true that Christian colleges often have a relatively small number of students from diverse racial or ethnic backgrounds. But colleges truly need those students on campus, because their presence helps other students appreciate the richness of the diversity of all of God's people. You can be part of educating your peers about your culture. You'll also have the opportunity to experience community life with people whose experiences differ from your own. Realistically, those opportunities can also add stress to your life and take you out of your comfort zone. They can also be experiences that God uses to deepen and develop you.

Your decision should be a matter of prayer and careful decision-making. Base your choice on visits to both kinds of campuses, conversations with students of color at the Christian colleges, and discussions with your parents about where you see yourself gaining the most out of your education.

Q I was so sure about attending a certain college until I visited. I just didn't have a great experience there. But it's a great school and I have friends who go there and love it. Did I just have a bad visit or should I mark it off my list?

A I'd recommend giving the college another chance, especially since your friends' experiences have been so positive. Be sure you stay overnight on campus. Maybe bringing a friend along would also help you think things through. As you go, ask God to give you eyes to see clearly whether or not this is the school for you. If it doesn't seem right, don't force it. Consider other options that could also be great schools for you. It's likely you'll find just the right place.

Q I'm having an awful time deciding between a Bible college and a Christian liberal arts college. I have a friend at a Bible college and she really seems to be learning so much about walking with God, and feels I could learn a lot there, too. I have this other friend at a Christian liberal arts college and he feels I should go there. What do you think? What's the difference between these two kinds of schools? How should I decide between these two options?

A It's a good idea to talk with your friends about their experiences at the schools they attend. But it's important to decide on your own goals and then think about which school will help you accomplish those goals. Both models—the Christian liberal arts college and the Bible college—have a God-given mission and are worthy of your consideration. Both types of schools provide many opportunities for students to learn about walking with God and knowing him more fully. Each has its niche in preparing students for kingdom work.

Generally speaking, a Bible college focuses primarily on preparing students for full-time Christian ministry, such as church or mission work. A Christian liberal arts college may also do that through some of its major courses of study. More often students will experience a broad-based general education curriculum, pervasively integrated with the Christian faith. They also study a major in anything from early childhood education to music performance to business management.

This is a time for you to prayerfully seek the plans that God has for you and trust him to help you determine which school fits you best and will best prepare you to serve the Lord.

Q I want to go to a Christian college, but I also want a certain amount of freedom. I've always been someone who's a bit of an "alternative person." Not that I do anything bad, I just dress differently than a lot of people and have ideas that don't always match up with people at my church. What do you think? Could I survive at a Christian college? Do you think a Christian college can survive me?

A Most Christian colleges can definitely "survive" you—and you can survive them. What I hope will happen is that you will "thrive" because you feel accepted and welcome. Most campuses have students who dress in many different ways. Few of them have strict dress codes.

I think you'll have many of your questions answered by visiting schools you're interested in. Spend a night in the dorm. Attend some campus activities. Visit a few classes. As you do, think about how you would fit in. Talk with some students who dress like you or who share their ideas freely during class discussions. Ask them how they feel about being at that college.

Some schools are more comfortable with difference and with freedom to express oneself than others. I hope you will find one where you can not only be yourself, but be free to discover who God is intending for you to become.

Q My parents insist on reading every application essay I write. They read it and criticize it and offer all these ideas for changes. I think their ideas are good sometimes, but I just get tired of making so many changes. If I do what they want me to do, it seems like I'll never get done with even one essay. Isn't it my responsibility to write essays? Should I just tell them to back off?

A Telling your parents to "back off" probably isn't the best idea. But it might be good to explain that the colleges you're applying to need to consider you for what you can do on your own—not for how well your parents can write. Perhaps you could offer to have one of your teachers proofread your essays so that this doesn't become a bigger problem between you and your parents. You might invite each parent to offer one suggestion. That way they are more likely to focus on the correction they feel is most needed—and you'll be more likely to actually complete your essays and mail your applications!

Judy Moseman is vice president for student life at Bethel College, Minnesota.

Copyright © 2004 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Subscribe to Ignite Your Faith!

• Risk-free trial issue
• Give a Gift Subscription